At this final lap of the run of this year, I am going to fail everyone who looks up to me. I do not know where to start revising from. The first two papers starts on Friday. I have not cleared my Acid and Bases and Extension on Trigo yet. I hope I will later. I am so fucked for the last final papers this year. I just hope I'll get promoted. That's all I ask for. I don't wanna fall when I'm nearing the finish line. Be it I'm the first to reach or not. I do not care anymore. I just want to complete this damn race and enjoy my holidays while it lasts.

After all this competing and jealousy, I realised this is not the way. I then realised what Sj said was right, in some way. "I know I can't beat them, so I just try and beat myself." Meaning she just keep improving and get better grades. I always ask myself, what am I fighting for? Fighting for that number 1 position in class? No, I wasn't. I fought because I knew very well that I can do better. It has sure caused me unhappiness. Explains why I have stopped and I do my best, for myself only. If anyone thinks that I'm still being competitive then I guess I should apologise, to disappoint you as that is not the case. Everyone wants to excel, no doubt. It's whether you have that capability or not. Not many things can be done within one night, it takes time. I obviously hope you all are able to take through train and that will spare you all from the agony of taking Nlvls but things don't work the way we want it to be so we all just do our best!

I know you all don't give a shit, but I have lost 4 kg in total (!!!) I will walk home everytime when I'm at CC. YAY. I'll hit 56 by the end of this year. I won't be able to shop in Hk when I'm there because it ain't the summer season. Damn! Never mind. Let's go kick some ass over there. I hope our trip wont' end up like TableTennis and Badminton's. Their's were badddddddddddd.
Tsk.

Life is not great at all right now. I'm trying to be as positive as possible.

Bye all.