Tell me, how do I not feel sick of all this. I really hate my life and I hate myself. I don't know what to say, I don't know anything. There are so many girls around, why me? Why did god made you and I meet and put us together? Made me go through all this that I did not have to, made me had sleepless nights, made me teared for you and find out things I shouldn't know.
I cannot accept the fact. The fact that has already happened. I am petty. I get jealous easily. I miss things easily and one of the most stupid bitch you would ever find. That is the Carolyn you know. Looking like she don't give a shit to everything that's happening.
But I guess things ain't the same. The people I know look all the same but deep inside their hearts I know, they're not.

To you,
I might have made it for some things, but I did not make it to what you wanted. I apologise for not making it to your expectations, ended up giving you such replies. I would have done it if I could, but it's srsly not my thing. I don't mean to be so pessimistic. I am not born like that but the past has made me felt this way. You should know better because you saw me growing up for years. Thanks for all the care. I still care and I do care and appreciate. I'm still waiting for you to return.

Goodnight.
I lost my voice. Great. I wonder how after a night of sleep. Wow. Anyway, the English compo paper sucked balls and Cheena wasn't ballz at all. Pretty alright instead.
I am so irritated right now because I can't pick up calls and I have to text allllll the way. (!!!)
Everyone please open up your ears and hear me when I talk okayyyyy. Don't be like Eugenia Zayne. Bitch. I want to get wellllllllll.

I need to study and yes I will. I reckon my A1 for English just flew away. Ballz. I hope my Cheena gets a A2 at least.

I need to go meditate. See you all when I'm backkkkkk<3
I'm kinda retarded with the keys on the laptop right now because of my damn fever. I slept in class the whole day 'cos mum forced me to school and didn't know I was sick till I called her at the last period. Her medicine don't seem to be working. I feel like crapppppppppppppp.

I missed Chem and Emath today. I was sick. DUH.

Anyway, I hate this.

Bye.

Tell me you wouldn't be paranoid. I swear I'm so fucking sick to be paranoid (!!!)
Sitting at the desk infront of me, typing all this into this box feeling so....turned off(?)
No point worrying about anything right now. I am very hot and sick right now.
Life is unfair and unfair and many more unfair shit x many many

Woked up in the morning, met R. Bunny and J. Zhang, and waited for my dear team mates. Had breakfast at the market located beside the interchange and headed over to Sentosa. I wanted to take the sky ride :( There's always a next time! I got burnt badly. For the first time. I am very very sad.

Went over to Lyv's and left at 8.30 because I couldn't make it anymore. I am having a fever, it ain't my sunburn. I slot my hand into my pocket, it felt as if I was steaming my hand. The sun cooked the sand at the beach today so well that all of our soles hurt bad.

I am gonna die. Bloody J. Zhang is getting high while I'm half alive. Stupid nerd....

Bad headache, high body temperature and not your average cough.

BURN.

It's the 20th alr, SO?
Hate this fucking life and everything.
English period, I can't be bothered. The question i got for my most recent compo is tough. I feel so ashamed of myself. It's my last chanceto get an 'A' but fuck, hopes dashed. I spent my time with my iPod on Youtube. Am gonna have night study and I am gonna work hard, yes. I love america's got talent. Byebyebye. I wonder what is wrong with me and my life, sighsighsigh.
Yes, it's true that these days aren't easy anymore like how they used to be. I wish my younger days would return..sigh. I hate to be sandwiched inbetween my damn parents who do not really give a shit for how I feel. They think that I'm taking sides. Obviously not. I hate to see my dad leaving and I hate to see my mum who wants to leave. I can never get the best out of both. You will never get the best out of me. Their marriaged caused me to reconsider about relationships and getting married. I don't wanna be like them. I don't wanna fall out of love. I don't wanna be heartbroken.

I need more self-esteem which seems like I can never have enough. I want what I want and I don't wanna fucking regret shit after I have done it. Thanks J.M. for those comforting words, if they are true.

I am on better terms with math already. I just need to fucking clear my Trigonometry's Extension and I will be good for the end of years. And Merabel, I'll see you at YouthCup. I haven't forget that I promised to wait for you after one of those matches. I'll reconsider since you are so mean on the comment.

China trip, leaving on the damn 16th of November, which means, we will have to request for walkover. I hate that but in exchange to experience those Cheenas in China, it's kinda worth. I'm payin' to get pinned down on the floor with a volleyball. Hello Cheenas, please spare me.

EUGENIA NG KANG TENG, WHERE THE FK ARE YOU, MY GOD(!!!)
Someone nice enough to buy me Mac breakfast tmr? :D PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?
Oral tmr and my language papers starts next week. DIE.

K bad mood again. Even though the Pms is over.
Night all, study hard!

Finally, it's the 16th of Sept.
But long way still..
Sigh

I don't think I can srsly trust your words. Right. I felt guilty for a night. Well yeah.
I am getting over it and shutting the fuck up. I need to get out of this. Badly.
I don't give a damn if my Eng is as bad as fuck. I don't even need to try so hard in the first place.
Don't speak, liar

I am srsly in a fucking bad moood now. Blueblack on my hand. How is it even possible.


FK YOU
FK YOU
FK YOU
FK YOU
FK FK FK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __
BLDY PSY FCD BCH, I SRSLY FK HTE LRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had enough of those cheatings and playings. I need god of war to vent now.
I am fucking going into the toilet and cry my ass off

Sorry, I just needed to curse.
Ipod is still half bar after so long. Irritating as hell.

-ClarkQuay pics @ twoworldsapart.lj

Walked from ClarkQuay to Cityhall, visited the AsianCivillasationMuseum by fate (it was raining and we took shelter from there, decided to go check it out), dinnered at M.S and home.
Legs were aching like mad but it was fun overall. All the crazy bitches. I swear.

Yoshinoya for lunch and chilled at starbucks awhile and here I am, home! <3

Baibai ppppppllllleeeee
Hahaha ! Blogging on my girl s blog is heaps more entertaining . Especially when in class :D

anyway i dont really know what i m doing here . But baby you m muh m muh make me happaye :D

to understand that line , watch tropic thunder suckers ;p love you darlin !
'Failure' is the most proper word to describe myself. I am a good-for-nothing. I have no comments. Even though the bbq was pretty not.... fill in the blanks yourself. But I am very glad to see my old team mates. I haven't had such a wonderful time with them for almost half a year already. They are leaving this year, well this is life. The ones in my batch are leaving next year. This is life, too. I will miss you all. I will miss you too, Jiayi! Study hard in UK and be back soon!


Meeting the usuals to search for my next bf, Stamford Raffles.


I don't know what's with me, I don't know what's with you. There seem to be a of miscommunication somewhere. Somewhere we can not find, which explains all the bickerings we have recently. I don't know what's wrong with this world, this life and this r/s. Three words can mean so much and mean so little at the same time. There are times when it helps and times when it doesn't, at all. I didn't mean to be so paranoid and pessimistic about stuffs.

I love you. I'm sorry.
Thanks for trying your best, it's appreciated.


Jokes that ain't funny anymore. What's with all the mixed feelings?
(?!)
so much for coming all the way from pasirris to mp library to study. Am still stucked with trigonometry. Had a great time with sheryl last night at hkcafe and she is coming over with an yay! Miss quek is leaving on wed for I'm a
for studies :( shit i didn't know but I'm gonna attend the BBQ tonight. Ah I'm off. Bye all !
I am being paranoid-y again. But then, what's new. I thought the most hated nightmare won't ever come back to me but my dream last night proved me wrong and it's back again, haunting me. I was fucking paranoid over a text dad sent. I thought it was from..... Well yeah fuck it.

I skipped school as I have already said last night somewhere and I am not in a good mood, anymore. I am fking pms ing away and bloody emo ing away. I'm gonna vent my anger by playing God of war.

One of my fav.,

Why- Secondhand Serenade

The buttons on my phone are worn thin
I don't think that I knew the chaos I was getting in.
But I've broken all my promises to you
I've broken all my promises to you.

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?

A phrasing that's a single tear,
Is harder than I ever feared
And you were left feeling so alone.
Because these days aren't easy
Like they have been once before
These days aren't easy anymore.

(why do you.....................)

I should have known this wasn't real
And fought it off and fought to feel
What matters most? Everything
That you feel while listening to every word that I sing.
I promise you I will bring you home
I will bring you home.


Sigh . .
I guessed you forgot. Or maybe not.
Happy 13th my love.
I call myself a good girl today because I am home early! Not very early . . But I would have been home earlier if not for EUGENIA NG, dragged me all the way to the canteen for no reason but for the sake of making me walk there (!!!) I ended up playing DjMax and GodOfWar. Yes, I like GodOfWar even though it fustrates me like some mothafuckin' cunt. I had my lunch too with the usuals, my love.

I hate my school. Kinda like some of the teachers too. Education makes you sacrifice so many shit. It's already countless. Everyone has 10 weeks of school. The other sec3s and I have 12. Bloody hell. This year, the olvl students get 1month off school to study. So obviously. . I have one word to say -SIAN. Think, exams starting on the 25th and ending on the early october. Ridiculous or what? The school waste so much time, what's the point? Why not just let us off and we go fuck ourselves and study anywhere but school? My god. .

It's finally friday! (Reminds me that I have my night classes starting from next week. .) I am gonna have a great and fun-filled weekend finally! All my weekends are usually boring, am so touched now plzsxzszszxszxs. I am reconsidering throughtrain. I'm gonna miss my friends like what happened to Yt. Well. I don't know. I do not wish to be with the people who are in 3C1. No offence, they're just not my type. I can tell that next year, 3C2 is gonna be filled with many and many people. Hohoho.

Once again, I am feeling extremely bad about myself. I feel so lousy compared to others. I feel so lousy compared to other girls. I lower my head when I see pretty girls. Wtf (!!!) I dislike this but ahhhhhhhhhh. Can't you all see I'm trying to shed a few(x100) pounds?! I guess no one can. Why am I doing all this. For the sake of (fillintheblank). Bloody hell :(

1.Time pass faster than ever
2.Distinction for El oral
3.Pass all my shit

Sports Hall is gonna be up next month! YAY! (!!!)
I AM SKIPPING SCHOOL TMR, 12/9

PS. I blogged at bf's last night, if you bother, go check it out @ here
PS(2). Thanks S. for CrystalJade ytd! You bloody mad cow. Heh ;D
PS(3). I wanna swim tmr, anyone?

HERE I COME RAFFLES, TO CELEBRATE MIDAUTUMN WITH YOUUUUUUUUUU
(Speaking of midautumn, no one bought me mooncakes! Tsk)

Happy 13th month honey munchkin! ;D
om nom nom .

guess who . ! ;D

no its not carolyn its jeremy .
she's supposed to bathe .

but nooooo .

she's still sitting online . (no doubt waiting for me to finish this post so she can yell at me ;D)

but hey thats the way it is huh !

and I love this girl . ! no shit . :D
and she loves meee . . . . . . . -looks suspiciously at carolyn-

SO ANYWAY

thanks for the password n' stuff darling .
uhm . everything .
for being with me....uhmmm....
for taking my shit....

uhmmm . . . .for being MY HONEY MUNCHKIN <33

yeahhhhhh . . . everything -thumbs up-

yes !

okay sweet I'm done here .

seeyall on the flipside . ;D

-jeremy

SPECIAL EDUCATION .

this is a Balisong (aka Butterfly Knife)



Sup people. I'm the loner of the day because I headed home after skool. It's already 4 but I just finished my noodles and I have not clean up! Gr. I am suppose to study but I already feel tired and all. I am pissed because I can't find my ipod USB cable. I need to bloody charge it(!!!) Skool was alright but I was damn tired. Bloody morning 1hr bus trip to school. Killer okay. Imagine the time I sleep(which is not vry late) and the time I have to wake up. I have to stay awake for 6-7 hrs. How to hang on! Tsk. Talking about school...the food in the canteen their prices all went up! You have to pay 50cents for that small seaweed chicken. My god. How are we gonna survive. I hope that negotiation between our school and ** works and we'll have good **! No more canned ones! But one ** alr cost 5.50-.- Perhaps Yh might be right, we would have that student price thing. Heh.

I rly have to go off now. Time is running out.

4.45PM: Complete Project Cleaning Up
4.05PM: Done with bathing
4.50PM: Done with revising POA shit
SLEEP AFTER EVERYTHING TILL DINNER TIME.

Okay. I am finally planning. Good job, Carolyn :)

K baibai everyone.
Was home at 1am because I wanted to take a dump real badly. Out at CoffeeClub with J and S.
I couldn't sleep till 5.30am. Wtf, so I played solitare that was on my sis's phone. Fun man. The girls were over last night for Mahjong at my place. It was fun. Hahah but I nearly died teaching Yh and Jh Mahjong. I can't teach, not because they suck. They were over today as well. For poker this time.

Anyway. Did I mention how much I dislike my team due to some things? I rly feel like leaving. I need Phebe. I fucking. . don't know. I need people who are enthu and not those who fucking emo their way in court and not cheering. Bloody fuck. I don't know. If everyone was like J or L or even me. I don't know what I can do. Nothing I say helps and nothing changes. I get pissed off badly too. Ah. Someone help me please. I fucking hate this. I need to walk away from this life of mine. Sigh... They don't seem to be helping, at all.

My lappy is kinda fucking up. I can't upload pictures into the post. Well. Done. I'm gonna stone and knock off. Tired and pissed. Feeling very useless.

Sighed.
Yet again, we've started a arguement that we thought we already settled. How great, that's why life is full of inconsequential stuffs. Full of unfair shit too.

Last training wasn't bad at all. The two girls in our team played as if there ain't any fliping on the scoreboard ( which wasn't really a score board ) They have so much more to learn.
Now, I am gonna concentrate on my studies and at the same time, pray and hope that I would get into throughtrain (with my group, hopefully, or it'd be so boring in class-.-)

Junior's training tomorrow and poool!

I. (Sigh) Don't know. I need that China trip badly. I need to step outside and see if I can still breathe. Not to forget, I'd be ten times more paranoid than the times when I'm here. Fuck.

What
the
fuck
am
I
suppose
to
do

(Big Sigh)

Goodnight,fucking dogs
I'm seeing my girls today and I am very happy! I haven't seen them this week, aww. I've got my ipodtouch and I worry nothing. I'm a happy girl now and don't bring me down bitches. Training tommorow, might be the last and sigh. I'm gonna drop like mad after tomorrow, in terms of skill and stamina. Eat less, study more project. Go me! I know I have got support from everyone who loves me and yes I can do it!

Love you, you love me.

Hi Eugenia, I'm seeing you later. Woo.
Hi Weijie, I pity you. Tsk.
Happy birthday, Keith Pao.

See y'all laterssssssssssssssssssssssss