I'm sorry I can't be the perfect daughter you want. A daughter that makes you happy more often, angry less often. I'm sorry Mum, I disappoint you over and over again.
--
A call is enough to make me feel pissed off, and realise that I'm at fault again. I wish I could do all the things to make you happy. I know I never did. I can never be. Those 2 days when my Mum care were like the 2 days where I felt better and thought that life ain't so bad afterall but now, I guess I'm back. I held back my tears after the 2 phone calls, cried in the toilet and I feel exactly the same a few days back. I disappoint myself and others. I am really fucking sorry. I'm like fucked in what I'm good at and what I'm not good at too. I feel like... I don't think I'll nail that throughtrain shit. I'm running out of time and perhaps, I realised what I want too late.

For Zb, Sher, J and Yh- Don't stress kay! You guys will be fine :) (LUV!!)

So fking contradicting pls.

Sigh.