Liar . Burn . Death . Love . Hate . Violence . Busy . Fuck'd up . Irritated . Swearing .

I can fucking kill myself now .

And I care , Okay .
Think again , Regret . ( Oh shutup ! ) .

I'm late for school . Detention .
Cause our dearest Om , Mr ong , didn't believe that there was a fucking jam in the area .
Cause I was the only one late ( isn't the girl in the taxi late too ? -.-) .

I wanted to esc detention .
Was avoiding him ( Or I'd gone at 1230 ) .
So I went to find Xueer in her class and sat inside talking rubbish with them obviously then Xueer keep going like SHHHH SHHH SHHHH !
Then swaysway when go find MissWang for hall key I see MrOng ( abcdefg..z ) .
So I guai go for 'homework time' , I sat there 2hours reading Starting ShakeSphere , Ghost Stories and rubbish drawing .

Training was fine .
found out another new way to get good balls .
The jersey is damn big which I'm not happy about .
but then stop complaining carolyn !

John came back anyway .
Okay . Doesn't bother me yeah , -.-

Then . I called you and wanting to talk to you ( cos for the whole day I didn't except in the morn. when I called ) .
I talked so damn nicely and of cos was glad to hear your voice .
So . Think about how you talked to me , or maybe I'm wrong AGAIN .
I wanted to go straight home when I was thinking that you told me to call when I'm home .
In the end , I told you I go home call you .
you say I reach home , what time will it be ? You got tuition .
So I fucking took my time and reach at 8plus .
Doesn't matter to me right .
In the bus and walking , I felt damn cold , I think about you .
( So drama )

My fault and it's always mine .

Um . M.Noor has a daughter like me .
Rough . But she can stand on her own feet and own mind .
I don't think I can stand on my own and have my own mind , um ?

Carolyn,Carolyn .
Is the world ending or me that is ending ?
Oo ..

I think I hate life now ? :/
Maybe not .
IHATEGETTING (JEALOUS) .
Yes I do .

I'm sosososoo screwed . Thanks .
Okay . I've to stop being so damn unreasonable with baby and all .
I know I'm wrong . Very .

Thanks for having so much patience towards me .
For me being so unreasonable last night .
I love you for you loving me .
Outside I don't seem to care or like .. love you ?
but inside I do okay . ;D


but still , Jealous=Sad=Angry .

I hate myself for getting jealous so easily .

SCREW !
-

English lessons now . M.Azrina not here again = song :D
No cookery today cause M.Shirin not here):
WAHLAUZ .I WAIT SO LONG CAUSE I WANT BAKE COOKIES FOR BABY THEN TODAY NO COOKERY .
WAHLAUZ .

Okay shutup .
Imissbaby .
He's not in school today D:
Hope he's feeling okay and go see doctor .
Get welllll love ~

-

29/monday's our first match @ Temasek poly's sports hall at 2pm .
I've got my jersey !
#1 ! :DDDDD I shout 'Yes !' Damn loudly & they all went like - shhh .
Hahas , but anyway . . I'm just sad that I didn't got #8 .
And sijiao= screw . Big time okay .
blehz . I rather wear sanjiao but nevermind ah .

-

If you have the passion for something , you won't give up so easily ..
right .. geraud ?

Don't you practise what you preach ?

I'm going to do the w/s now .

Bye all .
Till the next time I blog ( that'll be don't know when but then ), seeya'll .

Tomorrow wil be a better day , for sure (:

-

I look at you with such disdain .
It gets so hard to walkway ..
Watched Ghost Tunnel & The Illusionist with baby .
I like The Illusionist more . [:
So sweet , ending .
Then got home at 12 ? then you know .

( Again, the key sucks .)

Sleepingtveating . Like always .
Heh .

Monday's (29.01) our match .
Hope we'll win and move to finals .

English = Sian .
M.Azrina not here again .
WOOOHHHOOO .

Actually I wna go for the soccer match at night with Jw and all .
But yeah. I can't go la . Lol

Sam asked why . HAHAR .

Okay bye . (:

I LOVE MY BABY :D
ALOTALOTALOTALOT .
I'M FUCKING BORED COS I DONT WANNA DO MY HOMEWORK AND GO TO REST .
I WANT TO GO OUT . I WANNA GO OUT WITH BABY . BY MY BABY'S SICK .
GET WELL SOON BABY . WTFUCK . I'M FUCKING GOING NUTS . I DON'T WANNA STAY AT HOME AT THIS MOMENT . I NEED TO GO OUT FOR FUCK'S SAKE .

I NEED TO GO OUTTTTTTTTTT .
( axsghgjjdsdojdorwibrwirimybngericxmqwxzweorie )


I can't explain how i feel now .
I'm not even suppose to use the fuck'd up computer .
byefuck .
Traning was damn good today .
Just that 2 fking balls hit my damn face one on each side ( nearly blind ).
Then my eyes were small and face like pie-.-

Okay . Then baby's fetched me . Lunch . Then buy his soccer socks and his friend's .
Then off . Left at Pasir ris interchange . Then I went home alone .
): it's sad okay . He's still there ' Lolz ' , ' Hahas ' . -.-
Nevermind . I still love him ;D

Goodluck for his match .
LOVEEEEE :D

My match starts on like 29th -.-
Next Next week . ( wth . make me kanchiong only ) .
I don't feel like saying what happen after school so yup :)
Training was tiring-.-
4 new people came .
J*'s GuaiLan sister was in too .
Bloody Pubor .
Even Isabel Kp-ed her too .

Happy birthday to my wife !
ONGLIJIE (:
14 already ah .
( I just realise there are alot of people who were born in January . Envy lor ( Not quite actually ), So early birthday . )

Carolyn stop envying people -.-''

I went by Yahoo and I saw the mystery of Napoleon's death was said to be solved . Oo .
Link's here .
Long link .
Quite interested so I just went to take a look .
A 200 year old mystery .

I'm in a very good mood now because of my dearest baby .
So .. Whatever I'm going to type goes to my baby . ;D

Thanks for helping me when I need help ,
Thanks for shielding me from the rain when it's raining ,
Thanks for carrying my bag and shoebag when I'm tired ,
Thanks for buying food for me when I'm lazy ,
Thanks for cheering me up when I'm sad ,
Thanks for listening to things that I tell you ( I know I'm damn naggy ) ,
Thanks for walking from place to place at times even though you were tired ,
Thanks for lending me your shoulder to rest and cry ( I know I'm a cry baby ) ,
Thanks for sending me home after trainings and school ,
Thanks for your patience and when you waste time waiting for me .
Thanks love , for everything . :)

If not for you , I would've missed alot of things .
( I've thought about this sentence although I'm not the one who said it . )
And sometimes I do things because of you .
If not for you , I think it's no point already .

I look forward till school ends just to see you ,
I look forward till training ends just to see you ,
I look forward going to school just to see you ,
I look forward to holidays just to spend more time with you .

I'm sorry for the wrong things I do .
I didn't mean it , really .

For the past 6 months ..

Thanks for tolerating me when I'm irritating .
I think I've been wronging you .
Complaining and complaining and more complains .
Didn't trust you alotalot ( Like to the max ) and yeah .
Sorry to make you worry about me at times .
(But when you worry I feel loved :@ )
I like you irritating me although I seriously get irritated .
Calling me Small Girl and kiss me on the forehead so .. <3 .

I love you for being so sweeeeeet .
We'll go on and on , till 9years later right ?
You said we'll get married by then :) It's too early to say but .
I just hope it comes true :)
If without you I don't know what can I do .
Maybe we'll see as each day goes by . .

















My wallpaper <3
I love you like now & forever (:
080706 . Thank you for everything .
I love my baby .

My baby never let me be his hero .
( Obviously no , cause I can't even hero to myself let alone his hero . Lol )

Lastlast : Thanks baby for printing my stupid homework although you're doing your project now . :)

MY BABY SO NICE RIGHT .
( eh wait . I wonder what he'll say about me when he sees my post-.- )
In class having English Lessons but M.Azrina is not here but , Who cares.

The keyboard here sucks .
Yes . Damn shit .

Boring. .
Jw's repeating whatever I'm typing .
I think he's noisy ah .
Trying to delete what I say.

But anyway .
Schools ending and can see baby ! ;D
I love baby ! YAY.

Having difficulties typing.
So I went city link and Marina cause baby needs a pair of slippers .
( I keep asking him to wear Bermudas la . )
Then I nearly went in the guys toilet with him cause I thought we still could walk thorugh the path-.-
So paiseh laaaa-h . Omgz .

Lol . I'm sneezing an typing the post .
Bangs . Nose block .
Screw .

Jessica's gonna make a new skin for me
so .. thanks ! ;D

Yay .
Baby = Love .

Like what baby said ,
my sister's nuts now man .
must be study too much .

Like less than a month to Valentines .
-.-
Ohnuts .

I haven't even got my StartingShakesphere man .


Hero , Enrique Iglesias (1897-1916).

(Let me be your hero)
Would you dance if I asked you to dance
Would you run and never look back
Would you cry if you saw me crying
Would you save my soul tonight
Would you tremble if I touched your lips
Would you laugh oh please tell me this
Now would you die for the one you love
Hold me in your arms tonight

I can be your hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

Would you swear that you'll always be mine
Would you lie would you run and hide
Am I in too deep have I lost my mind
Well I don't care you're here tonight

I can be your hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

Ohhh I just wanna hold you,
I just wanna hold you, oh yeah
Am I in too deep have I lost my mind
Well I don't care you're here tonight

I can be your hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
(Ohhhhhhhhhhhh yeah)
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

I can be your hero
I can kiss away the pain
And I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away
You can take my breath away
I can be your hero

-

It's an old song .
But it's nice and I when I'm emo I listen to it . :@
= More emo .

Baby I love You .
Really .

I dreamt of the same thing and it woked me up after .

I'm having moodswings like almost everyday .
It's not good .
I kp when I'm having it .

Feels like it's the end of the world already .
Maybe not .
Watched KungFu Mahjong3 .
Uhhuh .

I'm sick of school already . Not already , Since the first day .
Serious . I hate HOMEWORKS , PROJECTS .
Seriously made me damn fucked up . I swear .

Yesterday during SE while doing the English Part of the Proj .
He went like : " Eh . Wahlao , Very Singlish . "
Then me : " Wtf . You everything also cannot . Until I type until going finish then you say "
He kept quiet . Bloody Hairy Monster .
Reminder : I've to send him the thing later .

Training was alright today except my muscles were aching .
Then had to do the same thing that made my muscles ache again .
10Sets .

Well , for east zone I've to do it .
Coach's Wife said I could jump much higher than before .
To me , it's compliment although I know some of them could do it earlier than me .

My thighs are smaller than Lyvia's and SookJuan's ! ;D ( I'm don't mean anything . )
I'm really damn happy . Just that my calf .. Are damn big .
I'm still on the same weight . I didn't lose any .
Just muscles replaced the fats :@

-

If you are not interested in what I'm going to post about down there ,
You can click the X button on the top right hand corner .

I seriously have too many things to regret in life .
Really . I take the wrong steps and I blame myself .
I mean it's no point blaming myself cause it's done and can't be undone .
If time can really turn back I would've think about it , clearly .
So I won't regret .

But I'm regretting more and more as I grow up .
I can't think properly for my own for nuts !
Is this some kind of experience ? To like . Yeah .

I've been sad this few days .
Listening to sad songs .
Well , not really .

Its just sad and yep .
No whys and don't ask why .

Sighs , I've grown up ?
I doubt .

Thanks Jeremy .
-

Feel moody nowadays .
Depression because too rich , LOL ?
I would like to try that Oo .

I love my baby who's like Saw , a sadist .
Who cares right . He also don't care .

: Oo Okay . -.-''

I'm seriously F up with myself .
Yes . And very .
And everything I hate . I do . Almost everything , I hate .

And IT DOESN'T FEEL GOOD TO ALWAYS MAKE PEOPLE NO MOOD .
Always feels like your fault and you'll blame yourself and just stfu .

Hey sheryl moo !
Don't be sad already !
Your brother will be back from Army soon ! ;D

I envy , got such good r/s with her bro .
And like Lye Yee and others who are like them .
It sucks to be the eldest .

Sighhhhhhs .
No wonder the world always turning .
I don't know what I'm talking about actually .
-.-

I'm trying to control however I'm feeling .
I like telling/showing how I feel to people .
It's just not me , no it's not .
Who used to keep whatever I feel to myself .

Carolyn changed .
I told you I won't be nice .

I sad . Now . Like NOW .
Not only sad .
Feel so kaopeh .

Happy 4months Eugenia , Totally sianed for this .
She walks fast you know . :x
I'm doing my chinese homework , screw .

Then training was a bore today.
Baby didn't send me home cause he had tuition . ):
The weather ain't nice to us today anyway .
Damned rain so heavily .

I starting to dislike my juniors .
Like sheryl and her junior = Hatred .
I mean my haven't got into that stage yet .. but .

Um . So something went wrong in my bloody brains today .
I suddenly felt something like . Unbearable so I just .
Showed attitude , And yeah .

I'm sorry my TeamMates and thanks for some of you , caring about me when I !@#$ .
I still love you all the same ! ;D

And my baby .
Missed him like a damn idiot .
But worth it [;

YAAAAAAAAY .
I had a bad day . -.-

This song was out already , I'm slow .
Yes . What a noob right baby .
Felt sad listening to the song .


WalkAway , Paula DeAnda

-

I have no one to tell about the thing happened today seriously .
I just wanna tell you but you don't like volleyball so . Yeah .
I still remember what you told me at the Park .

I wish I could turn back time .
You were damn sweet to me that day .

Sighs .
I need someone to talk to at times .
I need YOU to talk to .

... bye
I'm in school now :@
For geography lessons la .
Boring . Finished the Four and six grid game .
I'm not bad after all .

Not really in a good mood la .
Bangs .

I'll blog when I'm home .
Bye .
it's recess time but I'm not hungry .
Ahhhhh !!!

Going nuts man .
And oh , the keyboard sucks . -.-
Scheduled outage @ 7.45 . Okay , I don't know what does it mean .
-

Sunday was out with baby to orchard again .
I like walking the whole damn orchard with him . Fun doh .
He was shopping so . Yeah .
And watched School for Scoundrels .
Nice show anyway .

-
Watched Charlotte's Web .

I realise I'm too overboard at times .
I'm vulgar .

I still don't like . The way you talk to me sometimes .

I had a damned Moodswing today .
Screw that and it went all to baby .

I don't have patience .
I'm not nice . And I'll never be ( I suppose . ) .
I like insulting people . ( My new hobby ) .
Enough for you? Take that .

I'M ALWAYS WRONG AND NEVER RIGHT .
I don't say whatever I'm not happy with and I blog about it .
Because I freaking don't know how to explain it okay .

I feeel Sad/Angry .

Bye .

WHY THE HELL IS THE WORLD LIKE THIS .
ROAH .

Happy 6months .


It Ends Tonight , The All-American Rejects

In love with this song . Heh . :@

As usual , I'm always complaining , getting jealous , unhappy & all .
Not as if something will happen if I'm unhappy and all .

You said It's always my fault .
You don't like me playing volley .
Yousay things that hurt me inside .
Do you even realise ? What else ?
By not replying her , you're rude ?! .
How rude I am for not replying other's sms then .
Fuck care her . Not even when it's important .
Is that sms important then ? No .
1 sms , you know how fucking unhappy can I get ?
Tell her to shutup , don't bear to or seriously waste sms ?
But you said she'll still continue sms her why not ask her to shutup .
At least for that moment she might just shutup .

Actually there's no point saying all this .
but I'm fucking unhappy with it so it's here .

In the first place you don't even have to say anything when you saw that draft .
So I won't fucking care so much . Although I'll still do .

Do you care how I feel when you do things ?
Sometimes you say things and I seriously don't feel like replying you .
But I know you hate me not replying you so I just continue talking .

I . Don't . Understand .
Do you ?
Training yesterday was shit = outdoor . Lol .
The last training with coach is good cos I got two nice balls over .
Baby sent me home for both trgs .

Today went to watch Night@TheMuseum .
funny okay . Lol . Baby watch it already and he only tell me after buying the tickets .
-.-'''

Thanks for making me fucking hate you .
Tuition at night = F .
Training tomoorrow .
Yay I love my juniors .

MY BABY ! :D LOVE !

Newyear&Eve :

New year's eve went out to Heeren and all again .
Then met baby @ Orchard Mrt for Countdown .
Lol . Then went Tm for DeathNote2: TheLastName .
It's nice and I teared . Haha Not funny .

Then missed it la . Wthell . Okay .
Then went Wp for Supper . Or my dinner ?
Then something made me feel full without even finishing half my noodle .
Baby stayed over at my house till the new years day then off while I go to my cousin's house .

Somewhere along in the bitterness .

--

Happy birthday Steven Aka Best of best Partner !